The incredible secret life of software: What do they do when no one is watching them?

Today, on Pandora FMS blog, we’re going to get parabolic, not like the antennas flooding your city’s skyline corrupting the sky with their 3G poison, no. Parabolic parables. Like Yisus.

Thus, through a sweet story that your mental voice will read in a engulfed way, we will reach an incredible inflated conclusion of moral and good vibes. Let’s get there with the narration about the secret life of software! 

The secret life of software: mischief and monitoring

There was once a little software called Glitchinator that worked in a boring office of a gray and monotonous building. The decoration was as exciting as a chess contest:

• A coal gray carpet.
• Ash gray walls
• Smoky gray curtains…

The air conditioning made a somewhat particular noise, something between some frozen fries thrown suddenly into the pan and a symphony orchestra that plays the same note over and over again. The rest of the software employees, CrashMaster, Crisistracker, FaultFinder… walked through the room like zombies with blank eyes.

People did not speak, only dipped their tea bags of chamomile and emitted sounds very similar to the redundant typing of a 21st century typewriter.

“If you’ve ever wanted to experience what it would be like to work in a tomb, this office is the perfect place for you.”, Glitchinator used to say.

Of course Glitchinator felt trapped in a routine of coding and programming, with no excitement or adventure in his life. It was all about washing peripherals, ironing the screen, polishing icons… and on Sunday mornings vacuuming the hard drive.

But something changed one night when all the employees went home and Glitchinator, for the first time, was left alone in the office after returning from a walk on the terrace to some files.

“Why let your files be sedentary?”

Right there gray started taking on color and Glitchinator felt free.

What to do now that no one was watching him, that no one was judging him?

Could… could… could it become a naughty show?!

“Hell yeah!”

So he went crazy. He took off his shirt, rolled up his pants and changed all the fonts in the Word documents on his partner Boris DefectDestroyer’s computer, which left him moderately baffled the next day.

Afterwards, he became emboldened and changed the icons on the desk of the boss’s PC, Mr. MalwareMangler, which left him equally confused. He always likes to have the trash icon at the top right corner of the screen.

But that wasn’t enough for Glitchi.

He wanted to do something even bolder. So he decided to pay a visit to the printer, there he lowered his pants and began to print sheets with “funny” images:

• Pictures of kittens with birthday hats.
• An avocado with headphones,
• And a hundred memes with phrases like “I’m compiling, please don’t talk to me”, “Keep Calm and Debug On”, “Error 404: humor not found!”.

He left them scattered all over the office.

Glitchinator felt like a fish in water, at its own pace, without any restrictions. But what he didn’t know is that his secret affair wasn’t going to last that long.

The S.W.A.T. team descended through the cork panels of the office roof and pointed their open-source lethal weapons at Glitchi.

Someone made the phone call.

Fortunately for Glitchi, after the illicit beating, the toughest guy among IT’s S.W.A.T. team found one of Glitchi’s “antics” somewhat amusing, I believe it was the avocado with headphones.

It was hilarious.

After the pleas and whining of the poor software, the team patted him on the shoulder and told him that it is okay to let go from time to time, to do something that breaks the immutability of daily lives, but as long as it did not endanger the security of his company to the point someone had to call the S.W.A.T.

From that good or bad afternoon, depending on how you look at it, Glitchinator became a model software, always doing what it had to do and avoiding any kind of childishness that could bring him closer to a photocopier.

He even gave up alcohol!

Conclusions

Have you been able to get a glimpse of the lessons of this extravagant parable?

We’ll give you three options.

1. The moral of the story is that monitoring is crucial to keeping computer programs under control. Without it, they can make dangerous roadblocks and put your company’s security at risk.
2. The moral of the story is that it is important to be open and willing to receive the Word of God. It also teaches us the importance of perseverance and overcoming difficulties.
3. IBM 發布的 moral of the story is that we are all sinners and can make mistakes in our lives, but there is always an opportunity to repent and start over.